A text which has been useful for Onwards, the first mini-order to come into being, is Introduction to the Life of Devotion by St Francois de Sales;.
Francois de Sales was the Bishop of Geneva at the beginning of the sixteenth century. He was one of those converned to move spirituality out of monasteries into everyday life. This abbreviated version of his most famous work was translated by Andy Griffiths, 1996-1998, for homegroups at Holy Trinity Church, Maisons-Laffitte; no copyright.
Introduction
People who write about the life of devotion have almost all had inactive people in mind, far from the bustle of the world. Or at least they've taught the sort of life of devotion which you can't have without dropping out of the world. My intention is to help those in towns, households, and the court to learn. People who are obliged - on the outside - to live pretty much like everyone else, and very often think the life of devotion is impossible, so they don't take it seriously...
I haven't had time to put this book in order properly, so you'll find nothing very exact in it, just a collection of pieces of advice. But I offer them in good faith, and explain them with clear, intelligible words - at least that's what I've tried to do...
Let us clarify one thing from the start, my dear reader: writing about the life of devotion is not the same as living it. I'm not living it, but I certainly wish I was, and that gives me the courage to write. As a great man once said, we learn well by studying, better by listening, and best of all by teaching... I'm a Bishop, and I believe God wants me to paint on people's hearts not only the virtues that everyone values but also the life of devotion. I take on this task gladly, ... in the hope that as I engrave "love" on the hearts of others it will make my own heart fall in love.
Annecy , 1609
1. What is the life of devotion?
The true life of devotion, lover of God, is nothing but loving God. But this is a special kind of love. When God pours this kind of love into our hearts it's called Grace, and enables us to please him. When he gives us the power to act in a loving way towards our neighbours, it's called Charity. But when it is such that we don't only do what is right but do so wholeheartedly, frequently and voluntarily, it is devotion. In brief, the life of devotion is nothing but a spiritual willingness and liveliness whereby love acts in us and we act in love, spontaneously and with our emotions engaged.
The life of devotion consists in having a certain degree of this excellent love, so it doesn't only makes us active and diligent to obey God's commands, but actually makes us want to do as many good works as we can, and to do them spontaneously and with our emotions engaged... <Those who live this kind of life> don't just walk, they run and jump in the ways of God's commands - yes, and on the by-ways of his inspirations, too!...
If charity is milk, devotion is cream; if charity is a plant, devotion is a flower; if charity is a gem, devotion is the sparkle on a diamond; if charity is an ointment, devotion is a perfume, a perfume of God's gracious love that comforts humankind and makes the angels sing!
2. How do I start on the life of devotion?
Now there are some - such as St Paul - who reach the life of devotion by one sudden cleansing ... But normally healing, whether of the body or of the spirit, takes place little by little, step by step, with effort and time... The cleansing of the soul cannot and should not be perfect until this life is over; so let's not be troubled that we're still imperfect...
We need cleansing, not only from sin but from an affection for sin. The Israelites left the land of Egypt , but they didn't leave it emotionally; that's why, once they got to the middle of the desert, a number of them wished they still had the garlic and meat of Egypt . In the same way, many penitents leave a life of active sin, but don't stop feeling affection for it. Yes, they really resolve not to sin any more;... yes, they renounce evil; but they still cast some wistful glances over their shoulder like Lot 's wife. They do without sin the way a man with diarrhoea, who loves melons, does without melons. He doesn't eat them because the doctors threaten him with terrible consequences, but he wants at least to smell one little melon, and he envies those who can eat melons... It's like a man who is determined to take his revenge. He goes to see a Priest, and he changes his will - he decides not to take his revenge. But look how he enjoys talking with his mates and saying that if he wasn't in awe of God he'd have done such and such to his enemy! Ah, that man may be saved from sin, but he's not saved from affection for sin...
Quite apart from the danger that a continued affection for sin will in fact lead to sin, these emotions will always be obstacles to your spirit, and will so weigh it down that you won't spontaneously, wholeheartedly and frequently want to do good works - which is the essence of the life of devotion!
3. How can I stop feeling affection for sin?
The most important thing is a lively, strong realisation of the evil that sin brings; through this we can enter into "contrition" which is a deeply felt hatred of our sins...
Contrition smells so good that it obliterates and dissipates the stink of sin. In Simon's eyes (Lk 7.39ff), Mary Magdalene was a sinner; but in our Lord's eyes she wasn't, and he said that she was to be remembered forever - not for her sins but for the perfumes she poured out and the greatness of her love... And so, Lover of God, you will get rid of your affection, even for small sins. I'm not saying we can stop committing small sins - we can never do that, or at least not for long - but at least we can stop feeling affection for sins. There's a difference between lying once or twice when you're enjoying yourself with friends, and feeling affection for that kind of sin.
Games, balls, parties, processions, and the theatre are things that are neutral; they're not in themselves bad in any way. They can be good or bad, according to the effect they have on our emotions. So they can be dangerous - and the more you feel affection for them, the more dangerous they are. Lover of God, I'm not saying that playing games, dancing etc is bad - but to be more moved by them than by the life of devotion is risky... Again, I am not saying that we shouldn't do things just because they're dangerous, but I am saying that we may never let them be the things that move us most.
Now, to reach contrition (hatred for sin) and devotion (affection for God) we need imaginative meditation. First, still your body; then, fill your mind with a story from the Bible or an image of Christ. Perhaps you will think of the Father, who sits enthroned above the circle of the earth; or of Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father in glory praying for you, the wounds still visible on his hands and side; or of the Holy Spirit brooding like a mother bird over the waters of chaos to bring forth an orderly world. Perhaps you will think of Jesus on the cross, or of the day of judgement, when the followers of Jesus and the followers of the Enemy will go in different directions. Then allow God to draw you more fully into the scene until it seems as if you have left your home in France and are there in the desert or the lakeside or the heavenly throne-room, or whatever. Return softly to your own situation and ask yourself what God has shown you – what sin do you hate more because of your time of meditation, or what virtue do you desire with more affection? And finally pick one thing that you will remember over the coming day that you will keep reminding yourself of – like visiting a garden and picking a flower to take with you and sniff from time to time as a reminder of your visit.
4. What about my personality?
We all have certain natural inclinations. Our sins did not give rise to them, and they are not themselves in any way bad, but they may give rise to imperfections. For example, St Paula had a great tendency to sadness and regret; so much so that after the death of her children and husband she was in real danger of dying of it. It was an inclination, and not at all a sin... Some of us are light-headed by inclination, others aggressive, others sensitive to others' opinions...
Now inclinations are individual and natural to each person. By care, and by developing the opposite emotion, we can moderate them, and even if necessary be delivered from the imperfections; I tell you, Lover of God, this is necessary. There is no nature so unteachable that it cannot be tamed by God's grace and hard work. I am now going to suggest some exercises which can cleanse your soul from the imperfections that result from our inclinations, and thus make you more and more sure of committing serious sin. May God give you grace to follow my advice!
5. The necessity of Christ in prayer
Above all, I advise that prayer should be understanding and with the heart. The best prayer of all bears in mind the life and passion of our Lord; look at him often in meditation. Your soul will be like him, you will learn to feel as he felt and act as he acted... Children listen to their mothers and play with them, and so finally learn their language; so we, if w e spend time close to the Saviour in meditation, and hear his words acts and emotions will learn - by his grace - to speak, act and feel like him. Stop there, Lover of God. Believe me when I say there is no other gate that will lead us to God. Just as a mirror couldn't stop our view unless it was backed with metal, so God could not be viewed in this evil world if he had not been joined to the holy humanity of the Saviour. The Saviour's life and death are the most appropriate, lifegiving, delightful and useful things we could choose for our meditations.
Every morning, thank and praise God from the depths of your heart that he kept you safe last night. If you sinned during the night, ask his forgiveness.
Visualize the day ahead. Say to yourself, "I'm going to make this day count for eternity!"
Visualize the business and tasks of the day... Work out how you can use the means at your disposal to serve God and live the life of devotion. It is not enough to resolve to do this, you need to work out HOW you will do it ....
Then humble yourself before God... Recognize that you have in yourself no power to do the things you've planned today. Take your imaginary heart in your hands and offer it to your King, Jesus!
At work, be eager for God, Lover-of-God, and make your eagerness known by short but glowing heart-messages... Plant the cross in your soul like a flag, and let your heart be moved in a thousand ways so that you receive God's love... Several people have made collections of the sort of short prayer that you can use, but my advice is: don't plan what to say, just speak (whether out loud or in the heart) those that Love suggests at the time.
Every evening, you should have a spiritual supper - or at least a spiritual snack!
Imagine Jesus on the cross. Lie down before him, and re-light the <interior> fire...
Thank him for keeping you safe
Examine how you behaved today - who did you meet, where, and what did you do? If you did something good, thank God; if you did something bad in word or deed ask forgiveness from the King...
Then offer into his hands your body, your soul, the Church, your relatives and friends; ask Our Lady and the angels to watch over us; and, with God's blessing, you will sleep the sleep he wants you to have.
6. What are "Inspirations"?
Inspirations are what we call all the types of attraction, movements, feelings of remorse, illuminations and messages of knowledge that God causes to happen within us... Inspirations are the Bridegroom knocking on the door, speaking to his fiancee's heart, waking her when she is asleep, crying when she isn't there, inviting her to gather flowers in his garden, singing to her, making his sweet voice echo in her ears.
Now for an engagement to take place there are three things that should happen. First, the man must make a proposal. Then, the woman must feel attracted to the idea. And thirdly, she must say yes. This is how God deals with us. (Incidentally, there are the same three steps towards sin - first an "inspiration" to sin, then the feeling of attraction to the idea, and then the act of consenting by saying yes to sin...). Take pleasure in God's inspirations - they are extra proposals of marriage by Jesus.
"Ah", says someone, "but the feeling is not enough - it is not equivalent to actually doing something good" That's true, but it points us in the right direction. Accept God's inspirations wholeheartedly... say, yes unwaveringly ... and put it into practice - which is the summit of virtue!
7. Which good quality should I aspire to most?
Each profession needs particular virtues. A bishop needs some, a prince others, a soldier others, a mother at home with her children others, a widow others, and so on. Ideally, we should all have every virtue, but since we don't need them equally we should try to concentrate on the ones our way of life calls for...
Now there are certain things which are sometimes called "virtues", but are not, and I need to say a word about them. They are ecstasies, trances, losses of consciousness, losses of feeling, "unions with God", levitations, transfigurations, and - well, there are many other such "perfections" and plenty of books about them. The books promise that you can elevate your soul to a contemplation of the spirit; they call it the "supereminent life"! Lover-of-God, these "perfections" are NOT virtues. Perhaps they are responses of God to virtues, or more likely they are foretastes of the life to come. And God does give them to people to make them desire the wholeness of Paradise . But Lover-of-God, don't aspire to such states of Grace. They are not necessary for loving and serving God, and our only aspiration should be to love and serve him... That way, if God chooses to lift our hearts to angelic perfections, we'll be good angels..
Let's leave supereminence to the supereminent - you and I deserve no such glorious name, we'd be happy serving in the King's kitchen as go-fors or woodcarriers, and if he chooses to include us in his cabinet that's a matter for him.
8. How to develop good qualities
Nothing develops humility like seeing the goodness of God... Don't be afraid that thinking of what he has done for us will puff us up - we know that the good that is in us is not from us. "What do we have that we haven't received? And if we received it, why are we proud of it?" No, thinking about Grace will make us humble, because it will awaken feelings of gratitude...
And you need gentleness. When you see that you are being moved to anger, ask for God's help. Imagine that you are one of the disciples in the wind and the storm of the lake, and that Jesus is going to call on our anger to cease, and there will be a great calm. I warn you - if you are angry and praying for gentleness, pray softly not aggressively! ... If you suddenly realise that your anger has already led you to sin, repair the fault by an act of gentleness towards the same person ... Then, when you can get to a quiet place and your anger has subsided, rehearse gentleness and good Grace, going through a range of actions as gently as you can. Gentleness is also needed with regard to ourselves. We should never despise ourselves, or our imperfections. Our natural reason will tell us we're deformed and not nice to know! It just doesn't help, if after you have got angry with someone else you get angry with yourself for having been angry, or if we make ourselves sad because we've got depressed, or despise ourselves for having despised someone else... Anger against oneself, making oneself sad, and self-hatred lead to pride and are linked with selfishness...
If this was my situation, I wouldn't say:
"Miserable, abominable Francois, after all your good resolutions have you given in to vanity? Die of shame and do not lift your eyes to heaven, you blind presumptuous traitor, unfaithful to God!"
I would correct my heart by way of compassion:
"O no, my poor heart! Here we are, fallen in the ditch again, and we were so sure we'd stay out of it this time! Let's get up and get out of it! Let's claim God's mercy and put our hope in him, that his grace may help us stand firm in future and keep us on the road!"
Chastity starts in the heart and is exercised in body. It can be shaken both by sense-experience from the outside and thoughts and desires from the inside. So it is important not to look at, listen to, say, or touch things that could lead the heart to feel unchaste emotions... St Basil once said "I don't even know what a woman is. And I'm not a virgin."
9. What about mortification of the body?
I've read books about country-living which say that if you write a certain world on an almond, then put it back in its shell and plant it, the nuts that grow on that tree will all be engraved with the same word. I'm not convinced, Lover-of-God. And I'm not convinced by the method of those who wish to use exterior means to change us on the inside - as if the expression on our face, or our clothes, or our hairstyle reformed us morally.
It seems to me that we need to start on the inside. "Be converted to me," says God, "with your whole heart" (Joel 2:12)...When someone has Jesus Christ in his heart, the exterior actions will soon follow. That's why my dearest wish is that you should have "LONG LIVE JESUS" engraved on your heart. Then you will produce all the actions which are his fruits. When Jesus lives inside your heart, he will live in your behaviour, he will look through your eyes, he will speak with your mouth, he will touch with your hands, and if he's interested in hairstyles, he will show himself there too; and you will say with Paul, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galatians 2:20).
10. How can I fortify my heart against temptations?
From time to time, ask yourself which bad emotions are dominant in your soul. Once you've discovered them, make a rule of life which will be likely to combat them. The rule will include your thoughts, words and actions.
For example, if you are inclined to vanity, think often about how wretched the human condition really is.. Spend time pondering how childish it is to be pleased with baubles, etc. Speak to yourself about vanity - and even if it appears to you that your heart is unconvinced, keep going, you will ruin the reputation of the opposition. Keep talking to yourself until the heart is moved, and hates the vanity which at the beginning it felt affection for. Let the good works you do be despised by the world... for in this way you will get used to humility and your vanity will be weakened.
Or, if you have a tendency to be stingy with money, imagine yourself being enslaved to something that is supposed to serve you. Imagine your death, and how you'll have to leave everything. Imagine the long goodbye of your soul to your body! Imagine that your heir wastes his inheritance, or that he is ruined because of it, etc. Speak against meanness to your heart, tell it how good it is be no lover of the world. Force yourself to give money to missions and charities, and let an occasion to make more money pass untaken.
Conclusion
The world will tell you, Lover-of-God, that I've given you so many exercises and so much advice that people who want to observe them won't have time for anything else.. .And of course, if you had to do all these exercises every day they'd take 24 hours. But I never said you should use them all, at the same time and place, but only the ones that suit...
Finally, dear Lover-of-God, I beg you by all that is holy in heaven and earth, by the baptism you received, by the nipples that suckled Jesus Christ, by the loving heart with which he loved us and the deep feelings of mercy in which you hope: keep going in the happy task of the life of devotion...
When the going gets tough, sing a song with Francis of Assisi:
"For the good that awaits me,
The hard-work is like a pass-time for me:"
LONG LIVE JESUS to whom with the Father and the Holy Spirit, be honour and glory, now and forever and ever. So be it!
Francois de Sales was the Bishop of Geneva at the beginning of the sixteenth century. He was one of those converned to move spirituality out of monasteries into everyday life. This abbreviated version of his most famous work was translated by Andy Griffiths, 1996-1998, for homegroups at Holy Trinity Church, Maisons-Laffitte; no copyright.
Introduction
People who write about the life of devotion have almost all had inactive people in mind, far from the bustle of the world. Or at least they've taught the sort of life of devotion which you can't have without dropping out of the world. My intention is to help those in towns, households, and the court to learn. People who are obliged - on the outside - to live pretty much like everyone else, and very often think the life of devotion is impossible, so they don't take it seriously...
I haven't had time to put this book in order properly, so you'll find nothing very exact in it, just a collection of pieces of advice. But I offer them in good faith, and explain them with clear, intelligible words - at least that's what I've tried to do...
Let us clarify one thing from the start, my dear reader: writing about the life of devotion is not the same as living it. I'm not living it, but I certainly wish I was, and that gives me the courage to write. As a great man once said, we learn well by studying, better by listening, and best of all by teaching... I'm a Bishop, and I believe God wants me to paint on people's hearts not only the virtues that everyone values but also the life of devotion. I take on this task gladly, ... in the hope that as I engrave "love" on the hearts of others it will make my own heart fall in love.
Annecy , 1609
1. What is the life of devotion?
The true life of devotion, lover of God, is nothing but loving God. But this is a special kind of love. When God pours this kind of love into our hearts it's called Grace, and enables us to please him. When he gives us the power to act in a loving way towards our neighbours, it's called Charity. But when it is such that we don't only do what is right but do so wholeheartedly, frequently and voluntarily, it is devotion. In brief, the life of devotion is nothing but a spiritual willingness and liveliness whereby love acts in us and we act in love, spontaneously and with our emotions engaged.
The life of devotion consists in having a certain degree of this excellent love, so it doesn't only makes us active and diligent to obey God's commands, but actually makes us want to do as many good works as we can, and to do them spontaneously and with our emotions engaged... <Those who live this kind of life> don't just walk, they run and jump in the ways of God's commands - yes, and on the by-ways of his inspirations, too!...
If charity is milk, devotion is cream; if charity is a plant, devotion is a flower; if charity is a gem, devotion is the sparkle on a diamond; if charity is an ointment, devotion is a perfume, a perfume of God's gracious love that comforts humankind and makes the angels sing!
2. How do I start on the life of devotion?
Now there are some - such as St Paul - who reach the life of devotion by one sudden cleansing ... But normally healing, whether of the body or of the spirit, takes place little by little, step by step, with effort and time... The cleansing of the soul cannot and should not be perfect until this life is over; so let's not be troubled that we're still imperfect...
We need cleansing, not only from sin but from an affection for sin. The Israelites left the land of Egypt , but they didn't leave it emotionally; that's why, once they got to the middle of the desert, a number of them wished they still had the garlic and meat of Egypt . In the same way, many penitents leave a life of active sin, but don't stop feeling affection for it. Yes, they really resolve not to sin any more;... yes, they renounce evil; but they still cast some wistful glances over their shoulder like Lot 's wife. They do without sin the way a man with diarrhoea, who loves melons, does without melons. He doesn't eat them because the doctors threaten him with terrible consequences, but he wants at least to smell one little melon, and he envies those who can eat melons... It's like a man who is determined to take his revenge. He goes to see a Priest, and he changes his will - he decides not to take his revenge. But look how he enjoys talking with his mates and saying that if he wasn't in awe of God he'd have done such and such to his enemy! Ah, that man may be saved from sin, but he's not saved from affection for sin...
Quite apart from the danger that a continued affection for sin will in fact lead to sin, these emotions will always be obstacles to your spirit, and will so weigh it down that you won't spontaneously, wholeheartedly and frequently want to do good works - which is the essence of the life of devotion!
3. How can I stop feeling affection for sin?
The most important thing is a lively, strong realisation of the evil that sin brings; through this we can enter into "contrition" which is a deeply felt hatred of our sins...
Contrition smells so good that it obliterates and dissipates the stink of sin. In Simon's eyes (Lk 7.39ff), Mary Magdalene was a sinner; but in our Lord's eyes she wasn't, and he said that she was to be remembered forever - not for her sins but for the perfumes she poured out and the greatness of her love... And so, Lover of God, you will get rid of your affection, even for small sins. I'm not saying we can stop committing small sins - we can never do that, or at least not for long - but at least we can stop feeling affection for sins. There's a difference between lying once or twice when you're enjoying yourself with friends, and feeling affection for that kind of sin.
Games, balls, parties, processions, and the theatre are things that are neutral; they're not in themselves bad in any way. They can be good or bad, according to the effect they have on our emotions. So they can be dangerous - and the more you feel affection for them, the more dangerous they are. Lover of God, I'm not saying that playing games, dancing etc is bad - but to be more moved by them than by the life of devotion is risky... Again, I am not saying that we shouldn't do things just because they're dangerous, but I am saying that we may never let them be the things that move us most.
Now, to reach contrition (hatred for sin) and devotion (affection for God) we need imaginative meditation. First, still your body; then, fill your mind with a story from the Bible or an image of Christ. Perhaps you will think of the Father, who sits enthroned above the circle of the earth; or of Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father in glory praying for you, the wounds still visible on his hands and side; or of the Holy Spirit brooding like a mother bird over the waters of chaos to bring forth an orderly world. Perhaps you will think of Jesus on the cross, or of the day of judgement, when the followers of Jesus and the followers of the Enemy will go in different directions. Then allow God to draw you more fully into the scene until it seems as if you have left your home in France and are there in the desert or the lakeside or the heavenly throne-room, or whatever. Return softly to your own situation and ask yourself what God has shown you – what sin do you hate more because of your time of meditation, or what virtue do you desire with more affection? And finally pick one thing that you will remember over the coming day that you will keep reminding yourself of – like visiting a garden and picking a flower to take with you and sniff from time to time as a reminder of your visit.
4. What about my personality?
We all have certain natural inclinations. Our sins did not give rise to them, and they are not themselves in any way bad, but they may give rise to imperfections. For example, St Paula had a great tendency to sadness and regret; so much so that after the death of her children and husband she was in real danger of dying of it. It was an inclination, and not at all a sin... Some of us are light-headed by inclination, others aggressive, others sensitive to others' opinions...
Now inclinations are individual and natural to each person. By care, and by developing the opposite emotion, we can moderate them, and even if necessary be delivered from the imperfections; I tell you, Lover of God, this is necessary. There is no nature so unteachable that it cannot be tamed by God's grace and hard work. I am now going to suggest some exercises which can cleanse your soul from the imperfections that result from our inclinations, and thus make you more and more sure of committing serious sin. May God give you grace to follow my advice!
5. The necessity of Christ in prayer
Above all, I advise that prayer should be understanding and with the heart. The best prayer of all bears in mind the life and passion of our Lord; look at him often in meditation. Your soul will be like him, you will learn to feel as he felt and act as he acted... Children listen to their mothers and play with them, and so finally learn their language; so we, if w e spend time close to the Saviour in meditation, and hear his words acts and emotions will learn - by his grace - to speak, act and feel like him. Stop there, Lover of God. Believe me when I say there is no other gate that will lead us to God. Just as a mirror couldn't stop our view unless it was backed with metal, so God could not be viewed in this evil world if he had not been joined to the holy humanity of the Saviour. The Saviour's life and death are the most appropriate, lifegiving, delightful and useful things we could choose for our meditations.
Every morning, thank and praise God from the depths of your heart that he kept you safe last night. If you sinned during the night, ask his forgiveness.
Visualize the day ahead. Say to yourself, "I'm going to make this day count for eternity!"
Visualize the business and tasks of the day... Work out how you can use the means at your disposal to serve God and live the life of devotion. It is not enough to resolve to do this, you need to work out HOW you will do it ....
Then humble yourself before God... Recognize that you have in yourself no power to do the things you've planned today. Take your imaginary heart in your hands and offer it to your King, Jesus!
At work, be eager for God, Lover-of-God, and make your eagerness known by short but glowing heart-messages... Plant the cross in your soul like a flag, and let your heart be moved in a thousand ways so that you receive God's love... Several people have made collections of the sort of short prayer that you can use, but my advice is: don't plan what to say, just speak (whether out loud or in the heart) those that Love suggests at the time.
Every evening, you should have a spiritual supper - or at least a spiritual snack!
Imagine Jesus on the cross. Lie down before him, and re-light the <interior> fire...
Thank him for keeping you safe
Examine how you behaved today - who did you meet, where, and what did you do? If you did something good, thank God; if you did something bad in word or deed ask forgiveness from the King...
Then offer into his hands your body, your soul, the Church, your relatives and friends; ask Our Lady and the angels to watch over us; and, with God's blessing, you will sleep the sleep he wants you to have.
6. What are "Inspirations"?
Inspirations are what we call all the types of attraction, movements, feelings of remorse, illuminations and messages of knowledge that God causes to happen within us... Inspirations are the Bridegroom knocking on the door, speaking to his fiancee's heart, waking her when she is asleep, crying when she isn't there, inviting her to gather flowers in his garden, singing to her, making his sweet voice echo in her ears.
Now for an engagement to take place there are three things that should happen. First, the man must make a proposal. Then, the woman must feel attracted to the idea. And thirdly, she must say yes. This is how God deals with us. (Incidentally, there are the same three steps towards sin - first an "inspiration" to sin, then the feeling of attraction to the idea, and then the act of consenting by saying yes to sin...). Take pleasure in God's inspirations - they are extra proposals of marriage by Jesus.
"Ah", says someone, "but the feeling is not enough - it is not equivalent to actually doing something good" That's true, but it points us in the right direction. Accept God's inspirations wholeheartedly... say, yes unwaveringly ... and put it into practice - which is the summit of virtue!
7. Which good quality should I aspire to most?
Each profession needs particular virtues. A bishop needs some, a prince others, a soldier others, a mother at home with her children others, a widow others, and so on. Ideally, we should all have every virtue, but since we don't need them equally we should try to concentrate on the ones our way of life calls for...
Now there are certain things which are sometimes called "virtues", but are not, and I need to say a word about them. They are ecstasies, trances, losses of consciousness, losses of feeling, "unions with God", levitations, transfigurations, and - well, there are many other such "perfections" and plenty of books about them. The books promise that you can elevate your soul to a contemplation of the spirit; they call it the "supereminent life"! Lover-of-God, these "perfections" are NOT virtues. Perhaps they are responses of God to virtues, or more likely they are foretastes of the life to come. And God does give them to people to make them desire the wholeness of Paradise . But Lover-of-God, don't aspire to such states of Grace. They are not necessary for loving and serving God, and our only aspiration should be to love and serve him... That way, if God chooses to lift our hearts to angelic perfections, we'll be good angels..
Let's leave supereminence to the supereminent - you and I deserve no such glorious name, we'd be happy serving in the King's kitchen as go-fors or woodcarriers, and if he chooses to include us in his cabinet that's a matter for him.
8. How to develop good qualities
Nothing develops humility like seeing the goodness of God... Don't be afraid that thinking of what he has done for us will puff us up - we know that the good that is in us is not from us. "What do we have that we haven't received? And if we received it, why are we proud of it?" No, thinking about Grace will make us humble, because it will awaken feelings of gratitude...
And you need gentleness. When you see that you are being moved to anger, ask for God's help. Imagine that you are one of the disciples in the wind and the storm of the lake, and that Jesus is going to call on our anger to cease, and there will be a great calm. I warn you - if you are angry and praying for gentleness, pray softly not aggressively! ... If you suddenly realise that your anger has already led you to sin, repair the fault by an act of gentleness towards the same person ... Then, when you can get to a quiet place and your anger has subsided, rehearse gentleness and good Grace, going through a range of actions as gently as you can. Gentleness is also needed with regard to ourselves. We should never despise ourselves, or our imperfections. Our natural reason will tell us we're deformed and not nice to know! It just doesn't help, if after you have got angry with someone else you get angry with yourself for having been angry, or if we make ourselves sad because we've got depressed, or despise ourselves for having despised someone else... Anger against oneself, making oneself sad, and self-hatred lead to pride and are linked with selfishness...
If this was my situation, I wouldn't say:
"Miserable, abominable Francois, after all your good resolutions have you given in to vanity? Die of shame and do not lift your eyes to heaven, you blind presumptuous traitor, unfaithful to God!"
I would correct my heart by way of compassion:
"O no, my poor heart! Here we are, fallen in the ditch again, and we were so sure we'd stay out of it this time! Let's get up and get out of it! Let's claim God's mercy and put our hope in him, that his grace may help us stand firm in future and keep us on the road!"
Chastity starts in the heart and is exercised in body. It can be shaken both by sense-experience from the outside and thoughts and desires from the inside. So it is important not to look at, listen to, say, or touch things that could lead the heart to feel unchaste emotions... St Basil once said "I don't even know what a woman is. And I'm not a virgin."
9. What about mortification of the body?
I've read books about country-living which say that if you write a certain world on an almond, then put it back in its shell and plant it, the nuts that grow on that tree will all be engraved with the same word. I'm not convinced, Lover-of-God. And I'm not convinced by the method of those who wish to use exterior means to change us on the inside - as if the expression on our face, or our clothes, or our hairstyle reformed us morally.
It seems to me that we need to start on the inside. "Be converted to me," says God, "with your whole heart" (Joel 2:12)...When someone has Jesus Christ in his heart, the exterior actions will soon follow. That's why my dearest wish is that you should have "LONG LIVE JESUS" engraved on your heart. Then you will produce all the actions which are his fruits. When Jesus lives inside your heart, he will live in your behaviour, he will look through your eyes, he will speak with your mouth, he will touch with your hands, and if he's interested in hairstyles, he will show himself there too; and you will say with Paul, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galatians 2:20).
10. How can I fortify my heart against temptations?
From time to time, ask yourself which bad emotions are dominant in your soul. Once you've discovered them, make a rule of life which will be likely to combat them. The rule will include your thoughts, words and actions.
For example, if you are inclined to vanity, think often about how wretched the human condition really is.. Spend time pondering how childish it is to be pleased with baubles, etc. Speak to yourself about vanity - and even if it appears to you that your heart is unconvinced, keep going, you will ruin the reputation of the opposition. Keep talking to yourself until the heart is moved, and hates the vanity which at the beginning it felt affection for. Let the good works you do be despised by the world... for in this way you will get used to humility and your vanity will be weakened.
Or, if you have a tendency to be stingy with money, imagine yourself being enslaved to something that is supposed to serve you. Imagine your death, and how you'll have to leave everything. Imagine the long goodbye of your soul to your body! Imagine that your heir wastes his inheritance, or that he is ruined because of it, etc. Speak against meanness to your heart, tell it how good it is be no lover of the world. Force yourself to give money to missions and charities, and let an occasion to make more money pass untaken.
Conclusion
The world will tell you, Lover-of-God, that I've given you so many exercises and so much advice that people who want to observe them won't have time for anything else.. .And of course, if you had to do all these exercises every day they'd take 24 hours. But I never said you should use them all, at the same time and place, but only the ones that suit...
Finally, dear Lover-of-God, I beg you by all that is holy in heaven and earth, by the baptism you received, by the nipples that suckled Jesus Christ, by the loving heart with which he loved us and the deep feelings of mercy in which you hope: keep going in the happy task of the life of devotion...
When the going gets tough, sing a song with Francis of Assisi:
"For the good that awaits me,
The hard-work is like a pass-time for me:"
LONG LIVE JESUS to whom with the Father and the Holy Spirit, be honour and glory, now and forever and ever. So be it!